Fear and Fortitude
Saturday 2/21/17 notes
‘Fear and Fortitude’
The Big Thing Father gifted me with was the heart change
concerning my fears vs believing His assurance and promise. This was not
a new concept to me, as I have pounded away at Scripture for years on the subject.
Looking back through my notes, I see instance after instance of these Texts
about trust, provision, not to fear, care for me, etc.
However, as we discussed, it was finally to my heart that He
added the catalyst only He can add, that caused the seeds of His Word to have
Their effect. It occurred on the afternoon of the 17th as I
was listening to Weber’s 3rd chapter, concerning his take on the
grueling Army Ranger training. He said “The point of our (Ranger)
training was to overcome our basest fears.”
Suddenly, everything came into perspective for me, and I
suspect I was healed. I say suspect, because I will ask myself in a year
if I’m still tethered down in peace. My prayers are that this is not a
momentary thing, but that a foundational reality has changed in me.
I realized that the contrary views of my whole life and my
actions have been largely based upon (avoiding) the fears of discomfort – loss
of provision, bruised pride, disrespect, harm. In response, I have looked
to excel at the barriers to the things that cause those discomforts. The
problem is, aside from being sinful, these preventative barriers are horrible
taskmasters. Worse yet, because they are employed to circumvent Godly
trust, they are sin and sure to fail. While He has done much in me to not
retaliate against much of the sources of those discomforts, I still centered my
intentions around keeping the causes at bay through my own efforts. The
biggest one – loss of provision – is the mountain of the bunch. Because
of His goal to heal me, it isn’t a surprise to me to see the state of
provisional threat He’s allowed me to be in for the past several years.
The challenge, of course, is His promise to provide, both
while we act and while it’s not our job to act. The problem of painful
difficulties and the certainty of them could only be answered two ways – excel
in my efforts to stave them off, or do what is truly only my part and trust His
ability, intent, and His sureness to keep His promises. In short, as I
failed to choose the second answer, life has of course been difficult.
Weber’s statement suddenly shed light on all of my folly,
but more so, at the same time God gave me comfort and faith in the Scriptures
about Him that I’ve strived to embody. Despite difficulties (as I
perceive them, but are nothing to the God Who governs and provides), I finally
understood this big step in reconciling the discomfort of the difficulties I
face with the Father Who governs them. Weber’s words, made relevant to me
through Father’s Grace, showed me that the fears that torment are to be removed
by their training, and removes my fear (sin) of God’s actions towards me, and
thus removes my tormenting fear. And THAT is when I realized my sin, the
sin Father revealed to me, I repented of, He healed me of. My base fear
has been not resting in Him, as I tread the discomforts I fear, which are
allayed by His care. Once I understood that, I fled to Him in the hope of
leaving my fear of His not doing what He says He will, which then resolved my
fear of the discomforting things. By His Grace, it was like He
simultaneously produced the chicken and the egg, taking me out of the spin
cycle by answering both questions.
The joke of this to me (on my humanity) is that all of this
reads soundly. We all know it. I’ve spoken on it for a very long
time. But thus the point I made Saturday, that though we have the truth,
without the catalyst of God, nothing penetrates our heart. Thus, Eph
2.8-9 “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of
yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not
of works, lest anyone should boast.”
I’ve done my best to explain this, and it might seem like a
circular argument. BUT, that’s the point of anything we attempt in
grasping God. Miraculously, He alone makes the connection in an otherwise
circular argument. That seems to be the case in all things relating to
crossing the threshold to Him. We can read it, understand it, believe it
– but until He and He alone activates it, we can do nothing. Not in
Salvation, not in Sanctification, not in our endeavors, RE: John 15.5 “I am the
vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much
fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.”
I used (to have) to say in my futile fortitude, “I refuse to
be afraid, I will trust Him.” Now I can say, “I don’t need to be afraid,
He’s led me to trust Him.” Dale, I am truly amazed, but not at all
surprised.
Praise God, praise God.
The thing is, we are to have fortitude. My fortitude is
futile if It’s not striving towards God, or if I don’t understand God must add
His catalyst. If I don’t strive while remembering those two things, it IS
futile. But, if I do then we can be glad when Jesus says “To him who overcomes
I will give some of the hidden manna to eat. And I will give him a white stone,
and on the stone a new name written which no one knows except him who
receives it.”
Fortitude is necessary and required. Not understanding why,
it can be conducted in futility.