1961 – 2007
This hurts very badly. Al’s family thanks everyone for being here today and showing your love. Thank you for caring.
Grief, sorrow, and despair have at least one thing in common, and that is the absence of Peace. Peace is something we all want in our lives, and in the midst of grief, Peace has been stripped away. Not knowing why things happen or what to do about it often invites despair; it allows despair to take root.
Every one of us looks for Peace to ease our pain. So then, where can we find Peace, that the pain might go away?
As the days unfolded, I witnessed many aspects of this reality. There were many, many painful questions. Why did this have to happen? How is this going to end? What do we do next? Sorrow. Anger. Confusion. Often times, a sea of grief, thick in despair. It has been hard for everyone.
Talking with people about my cousin Al has confirmed much of what I already knew about him. And I doubt the stories we hear about Al surprise anyone. I would categorize Al as one of those people anybody could enjoy. Personally, any time I think of him he has a smile on his face with his characteristic laugh. He may have been one of the easiest going people we have known.
Preparing for today, I’ve talked with many family and friends about him. We know he was a hard working professional, a painter who cared about delivering excellent work. As a son, he started early in life driving his folks crazy, only later to have his mom enjoy a deep relationship with him, especially in the last few years. As a father and family man, he continued to love his children and Anne.
A father’s love is special, and Al hardly had any choice but to love Ian and Elyse. Both of them appear to be growing up to be people who care, and I’m sure he was proud and loved them very much. And as a part of the big Midwestern Scheffer Clan, we all have our memories and stories. Myself, I’ll always remember the times when Bert held me by my ankles and dunked my head into the water off of various Minnesota fishing piers. Except the last time, when he went into the water, instead. Whatever our relationship to Al, and many called him their friend, his death leaves a big hole in each of our lives. His love for life was admirable.
As Aunt Claire counted off the hours and days, her question revealed that she sought Peace. She did not ask “Where is God in all of this?”, but instead, she asked “What does God expect me to do about it?” It wasn’t a question of God’s involvement, but in His expectations through this awful trial. A good answer would be able to point her to that Peace. A good answer would need to make sense and apply to the situation.
Caring advice is intended to explain what and why, in an effort to bring Peace. Without guidance, without answers, despair will flourish. Likewise, with good guidance, with good answers, Peace can replace despair. God offers good guidance and answers.
God expects us to turn to Him – for real, perhaps for the first time in our life, on His terms – to turn to Him as the only one who can truly help a helpless situation. True healing, true help, true Peace, must eventually come from Him. People who personally know God can point us in His direction, but only He can actually help. These are some of the reasons that He is God.
This terrible situation will not disappear. Time will pass, but this loss still won’t be taken away. But, that’s not the point. God’s offer of Peace is genuine and has been here all along. This loss won’t be taken away, but His Peace alone can heal us of our hurt, if we ask Him for help.
Over the course of living through all of this, have you found any Peace? Have you seen Peace at work? As we’ve tried to sort this out, have God’s words and His perspective made sense? Is it possible that you have come to understand a bit more of what Jesus is about? I hope so, because I care about every person who is hurt in this loss – and I hope you will find the Peace that God promises. Yes, Aunt Claire, that is what He expects from you, and from all of us. He expects us to find and accept Peace for our whole life, by turning to Him.
The man who wrote the hymn “It Is Well With My Soul” penned those words in 1873 as his ship sailed across the very spot where his four young daughters drowned just weeks before in a tragic shipwreck. Yet despite the horrible reality and loss, he sought and found Peace from Jesus, who he personally knew most of his life. Was he a grief stricken fool? Or, was he a man who took God for His word and found Peace, and found relief? Apparently, he had learned he could say to God “I trust You. I know You will take care of me.”
Life is indeed fragile, and we are but mere men. However, we are also personalities, most precious and special – the result of a lifetime of experience and growth. Al was no different than any of us in that way, but he was surely a unique soul. Remembering the special person God made in Al is also a measure of Peace.
Al Scheffer
Committed, October 3, 2007
It is well with my soul
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
It is well (It is well) With my soul (With my soul),
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blessed assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
It is well (It is well) With my soul (With my soul),
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
It is well (It is well) With my soul (With my soul),
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.
It is well (It is well) With my soul (With my soul),
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Some of the things Al Scheffer loved and made a part of his life:
- His son & daughter, Ian and Elyse.
- His family, his mom.
- Racing, especially motocross. Al had great fun watching Ian race motocross.
- Watching Elyse ride her horse, Lynx.
- Trying to ride Elyse’s horse Lynx. He wasn’t a very good cowboy, though. J
- Competitive swimming in his high school days. Al took great pride in watching his kids follow him in becoming excellent swimmers themselves.
- Though they went different ways, Al, Anne, and thier family stayed close and helped each other out.
- His many, many friends. Most anybody could enjoy Al.
- Motorcycle trips he and friends took together.
- R/C car racing, a big part of Al & Ian’s lives as they enjoyed father/son time together.
- Engaging in long, quiet talks with Elyse.
- His willingness to be available for his family & friends, with a helping hand and kind words.
In all, Al will be greatly missed.